13 Haikus

Haikus are very weird
What were the damn Japs thinking?
I just ate Twizzlers.

When the cops showed up,
I had to hide all the drugs
Deep in my rectum.

Thor's a very cool god.
His hammer is fucking cool!
I'd be his best friend.

I'm happy, but why,
Why does it hurt when I pee?
No doctors can help.

Sometimes my balls itch
I cannot scratch them because
Kids will laugh at me.

My friend is so hot!
Dylan has such a nice butt!
I touch it whenever.

I've never had shrooms
But I think they might be cool
Maybe I'll try them.

I don't like zombies.
They smell like dirt and semen.
But Dave Chase will help.

I have lots of hair
Male pattern baldness sucks ass
I'm a sex machine.

Aborted Fetus!
It's so tiny and so sweet
I might eat it.

Today I shampooed.
My hair smells like a fresh rose
Mostly cigarette.

My haikus are best
Get me a fucking trophy
fuckshitcuntassfuck

I want a kitten
Because they are so fucking cute
I'd touch it everyday.

END.